I’m Finally Speaking My Mind: What I Really Want to Say When You Tell Me You’ll “Do Anything” to Heal

You say you’ll do anything to feel better.

But what does “anything” actually mean?

In this episode, I’m finally saying some of the things I’ve wanted to say to my patients for years about what healing really asks of us.

Because sometimes it isn’t another supplement, test, medication, or quick fix.

Sometimes it means changing something you’ve been protecting. Giving your body more time. Making an investment. Or taking an honest look at the life your body is being asked to live.

Wanting to heal and being willing to change are two different things.

This conversation may challenge you—but it may also change the way you think about what getting better actually requires.

You may hear something you’ve been avoiding—or something you finally needed to hear.

To join us for our next free masterclass: Connect the Dots: Why You Still Don’t Feel Well After Everything You've done:

https://www.wellnesscornernj.com/connect-the-dots

To schedule your Root Cause Consultation to help you find the true reasons behind your diseases and illness and help determine your next step click here: https://www.wellnesscornernj.com

For all Inquiries: 

call us: 973-957-0871
email us: info@drjjeanty.com

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Transcript

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Welcome to Health, Life and What's Next. with Dr. Jennifer Ginty. This is the podcast where we explore what it really means to live well through honest conversations about health, life, business, and everything in between. Because remember, healing is about more than medicine. I'm so glad you are here. Let's get into today's conversation so disclaimer, this podcast is going to offend many of you. I am telling you this right now, I am preparing you because you might be triggered by this podcast. All right. So these are things I think in the exam room or in my consultation that I don't always say to people, not because they are untrue. Because I'm a doctor, I don't want someone leaving an appointment feeling blamed or judged. I don't want someone thinking I'm saying they caused the illness. I don't want to sound insensitive to what it is like to live in a body that hasn't felt right for years. So often, sometimes I soften it. I choose the nicer sentence. But today, I'm not doing that. I want to be honest. I wanna tell you most of the things that I'm thinking during a consultation or after speaking to a patient or some people or prospects, because here's one of the things I really wanna say, some of you or most of you are asking medicine, specifically functional medicine, to change your body while protecting the life that may be contributing to your symptoms or protecting the life that may be working against you. And before anybody gets angry, I'm not saying every disease is caused by lifestyles. We all know that. You could be going away and then you get bitten by a bug and you have Lyme's disease, right? You can be hiking and get sick. I'm not saying you can lifestyle your way out of every medical condition. I'm not saying if you are sick, you did something wrong. Absolutely not. Many people are sick, they have no clue how, right? Because we live in a world, in a society where everything is fast-paced. We live in a society where everything is all about conveniency. We pick up the food, and many of the things that we eat are processed food. So yes, I'm not saying that you cause your disease, like, you cause the symptoms. I'm talking about something much more specific. I'm talking about the person who says, "I will do anything to feel better, Dr. Jay," until we start talking about what anything might require, and then they'll tell me, "I can't change that. What? I don't wanna give up that. You mean I have to drink less? I have to give up coffee, I have to give up oatmeal? I don't have the time for that. You said I have to sit with myself in the morning. I have to not just rush out of the house. Do you know how many kids I have?" Right? "I can't spend that much money. I don't want to take medication. I don't wanna take the supplements. I don't want to change how I eat. I can't slow down at work. I know I need more sleep, but..." Fill in the blank. "I know I'm drinking too much," or, "I'm, I'm smoking, but... I know this schedule is destroying me," or, "This relationship is toxic, but..." Then we need to stop saying, "I'll do anything," because that's not what you mean. What you mean is, "I want to feel better, but I would prefer that getting better not interfere too much with the life I'm currently living." And sometimes that deal does not exist, So I had a woman sit across from me a few weeks ago after dealing with problems for five years. Eight years, 10 years. She is frustrated, and I understand the frustration. She's tired of not feeling like herself. She wants answers. She want the treatment. She want her body back. Then comes the question: Dr. J, how long is this going to take? And sometimes I wanna say, "Well, you have been living inside of your body instead of this health story for 10 years, and you're giving me six weeks?" Like it does not make sense. Your body did not read the date you finally decide you are ready. And some things improve quickly, some don't. Some symptoms will require additional investigation. Sometimes we have to adjust the plan, and that is functional medicine. But we've become so conditioned to immediate result that we bring consumer expectations into biology. We think, "Okay, I pay this money, I change some things, I took the treatment. Where is my result?" Your body is not an Amazon Prime where you can just like pay and then get results tomorrow or the same day. There's no guaranteed two-day delivery on healing. So here's the part that really gets me. Sometimes the person has spent years doing random things. They'll take a supplement here, they find something on social media, they'll try it. They do a cleanse, right?, They try a diet for three weeks. They see all the practitioners. They do another test. They have a new device, a new trend, thousands of dollars collectively. But when somebody finally says, "We need to slow down, look at the whole picture, and follow a structured process," now she wants to know, "Why does this cost so much?" I get this question all of the time. "Why is your program cost so much? Why is your consultation cost so much?" And that is very interesting, so let's talk about money because this is the part doctors are supposed to be very careful about saying. I have been called a scam because I will not give somebody a treatment plan, a protocol for $500. People expect to pay $390 for an hour consultation where I've been putting the work before meeting the person, right? I've been looking at the lab works. I've been looking at the intake form an hour before I meet them, but yet they want to not only have the hour consultation, the time that I work before meeting them on the case, and then have a full plan for $390. And then when I'm like, "This makes no sense," they're out there calling me a scam. So I am not talking about someone who genuinely cannot afford care. That is well People have mortgages, people have children to take care of, they have debt, they have food, they have insurance, unexpected expenses. There are people for whom private care truly is financially out of reach. I understand that. I am talking about something else. I am talking about the person who has resources, but health has never made it high enough on the priority list to receive them. And this is where I think we have to be honest. People invest in what they value. People invest in cars. One time I had this patient came to a consultation. She swear she has no money, okay? She's like, "Dr. Jay, thank you so much for helping me identifying the root causes. I can see all the things I have contributing to my symptoms. You have clearly laid out the plan for me. Unfortunately, I cannot afford it." And guess what? I saw her drive off the parking lot on a brand-new Mercedes-Benz. I was like, "What?" So she invest in what, she values, right? Cars, vacation. I have people that would rather postpone healing to go on vacation. New clothes, shopping at the mall, buying new phones. Like, if your phone broke we cannot live without a phone. What are you gonna do? You're gonna drive yourself or find yourself in a Apple Store to get a new phone. I see people standing outside for the latest, greatest gadget. People spend money on eating out, children's activities, convenience, experiences, businesses. And I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy any of these things. I enjoy my life too, but one thing I can tell you, my health is my insurance. My health is my number one priority but something interesting happens when the investment becomes your health. Suddenly that's expensive, right? We need a guarantee. Why does this cost so much? Let me think about it. Let me speak to my spouse who has no idea what you're going through. And sometimes I want to ask, when did the asset that allows you to enjoy every other asset become the thing you are least willing to invest in? And think about it. Your car cannot enjoy your vacation. Your house cannot raise your children. Your, luxury l- handbag cannot run your business. Your bank account cannot experience your marriage. You do all of that through your body. Your health is the vehicle through which you experience every other thing you spend money building. And yet, for some people, health gets whatever money is left after everything else has already been funded. To me, that is very backwards And I know somebody's thinking, "Well, paying more doesn't guarantee better result, right? Or better care." Correct, it doesn't. Expensive does not automatically mean good. Functional medicine does not automatically mean better. Ask questions. Understand what you are buying or investing in. Know what the treatment involves. Be an informed consumer. But don't ask healthcare to give you something almost nothing else in life can give you, a guaranteed return before you're willing to invest. You didn't have a guarantee when you started the business. You don't have one when you buy a new home. You don't have one when you get married. You definitely don't have one when you raise children. You gather information, you decide whether something makes sense, you understand the risk, and then you choose. Healthcare, functional medicine is not exempt from uncertainty simply because the decision makes you nervous or anxious or scared or fearful. Sometimes it's I'm afraid to spend this money on myself and still not get the outcome I want. And now we are telling the truth. That's a different conversation. Fear makes sense. If you're spending money, you're like, "Oh, just take my money," I feel at ease, okay, you you don't feel a different feeling emotions in your body. You don't feel it, something is wrong, especially if you already spent money and been disappointed. But call it what it is, because fear disguised as a financial objection can keep you circling for another three years, five years, 10 years, and three years has a price to pay Time has a price. Confusion has a price. Missing work because you don't feel well has a price. Not having energy for your family, for the life you desire has a price. Constantly buying one more thing hoping it helps has a price. Living your life at 50%, has a price. Not making a decision is still a decision with a cost attached to it. That doesn't mean the answer is always buy the program. Okay? I'm not saying like, "Oh, Dr. Jonesie said because I'm fearful and I'm paying the price by staying the same exactly where I am, I'm gonna go purchase all the things." No, no, no, no. Sometimes the right decision is no. Sometimes you need a second opinion. Sometimes you need conventional medical treatment. Sometimes you need to wait. Sometimes you need to just think it through, sit on it, meditate on it, but make an actual decision. Don't spend three years standing in the doorway saying, "I'm thinking about getting healthy." And money isn't even the biggest thing people protect. Sometimes it's the life itself. They don't wanna give up that life. You say you want better sleep, but you won't stop working at 11:00 PM. You won't stop scrolling social media. You're in bed with your phone looking at other- somebody else's living their lives. You say you want more energy or you want your energy back, but you protect every commitment draining you. You say you want your body to change, but every suggestion that requires changing how you eat becomes unreasonable. You want less stress, but you've made being needed by everybody part of your identity. You want to feel better, but the two glasses of wine every night are non-negotiable. Lastly, you want to heal, but you do not want the relationship, work schedule- Habits, routines, expectations, or coping mechanisms surrounding your health to be questioned or to change. And sometimes I want to ask, what exactly are you expecting your body to do? Absorb all of that? Work around all of it? Stay quiet, keep performing, and never send you a bill? At some point, something has to give. And this is what people misunderstand about personalized care or functional medicine, because personalized, individualized care isn't find me the perfect supplement so I don't have to change anything else. Personalized care means looking at the whole picture, even the parts you don't particularly want us to look at. Sometimes the most important thing isn't what I can add, it's what you refuse to subtract. That is very uncomfortable for a lot of people. Sometimes your next treatment is a decision you keep refusing to make. Not a pill, not a supplement and decision, and no practitioner can make that decision on your behalf. Letting go of toxic people, letting go of a toxic job, stop chasing money, Letting go of instant gratification, not creating your joy and happiness, knowing that something is bugging you, but you're still holding onto it because you fear for, you're afraid of the change Because you are hearing this and thinking, "Okay, I've done a lot. I've seen doctors, I've had labs, I've tried things. I don't know what I'm missing." That is exactly why I am doing the Connect The Dots masterclass. I'm teaching this live masterclass for women who have accumulated health information but still don't have clarity. Because sometimes the problem isn't that nobody has done anything, you've done a lot, and the problem is that everything has happened in pieces. One symptoms, one diagnosis, one treatment, another doctor, another theory, another thing to try. And eventually, you need to stop collecting pieces long enough to ask: what does my health story actually look like when I put it all together? And that is what I am teaching. Not a self-diagnosis, not another supplement lecture, not five hacks to fix your hormones. I want you to understand what has been happening, what has already been addressed, what maybe still deserve attention, what question you should be asking next. If you are tired of guessing, register for the upcoming Connect The Dots masterclass using the link below this episode. Come live, bring your questions. Now let me finish getting myself in trouble. All right. Here's another thing I would say if I stop worrying about whether patients were going to like me or not. You cannot demand a 10-year problem disappear on a 10-day level of commitment. And I'm not talking about motivation I'm talking about expectations. Having real expectations. People sometimes spend years building the conditions they are currently living in. Then give the new plan 30 days before deciding it didn't work. What changed in those 30 days? What did you actually implement? What are you, we, measuring? What improved, what didn't? Did we give it enough time? Did we learn anything? Or were you only willing to stay with the process as long as improvement was immediate? That's not how all chronic health problems behave. And I think this is what frustrates me most. People sometimes want healing to be passive. They want the practitioner to think about it more than they do, the medication to compensate for choices they aren't willing to examine, the supplements to overcome the life, the treatment to work around everything. And there comes a point where I have to say, "I cannot want this more than you do. I can care deeply- I can stay up thinking about your case. I can review the labs. I can build the plan. I can adjust the plan. I can tell you when I think something is medically important, but I cannot go home and live the treatment for you. And I shouldn't have to pretend that I can. That doesn't mean you need to be perfect. I don't want perfect patients. Perfect doesn't exist. I want honest patients. Tell me, "I am not ready to give that up." Fine. Now we have something real to work with. You tell me, "I cannot afford that." Okay, let's talk about what options exist. If you tell me, "I'm scared," that's good we are finally talking about the actual problem. If you tell me, "I know this is affecting me, but I am not willing to change it yet," I respect that more than pretending we are following a plan that your real life has already rejected. And maybe that's the biggest truth I've been afraid to say. Healing sometimes require grieving The version of yourself that has created the peace, the habits, the coping mechanism, the r- dysregulated nervous system, the identity, the convenience, the way you spend your time, the way you spend your money, the things you use to get through the day, the belief that everybody else needs you comes before yours, the belief that you'll deal with yourself later, something may have to change, and that cannot be much scarier than swallowing a supplement. Because a supplement doesn't threaten your identity. A will change sometimes does. And if you've been saying that, "I want to heal," I want you to finish this sentence. "I want to heal, and I'm willing to..." Again, fill in the blank. I want to heal, and I'm willing to what? I'm, I want to heal, and I'm willing to give it time. I'm willing to invest when it makes sense. I'm willing to ask better questions. I'm willing to stop jumping from answers to answer. I'm willing to change something you've protected. I'm willing to tell the truth about what's not working or accept the outcome may not be perfect, participate instead of waiting to be fixed. Because wanting health is free. Building it may cost you something. Money sometimes, may cost you time, convenience, comfort, letting go of old habits, letting go of old identities, maybe an uncomfortable conversation, maybe saying no, maybe finally making yourself important enough to receive resources too And I think that's where the real conversation begins. Not how badly do you want to feel better. Almost everybody wants to feel better. I don't know anybody that's walking around saying, "I wanna feel sick, I wanna feel sick, I wanna stay sick." Almost everybody, they wanna feel better. But the better question is, what are you still protecting that may be costing you the very thing you say you want? Because sometimes the biggest obstacle isn't that you haven't found the right treatment yet. Sometimes you've been asking your body to change while negotiating to keep everything else exactly the same. And eventually somebody needs to tell you That may be the reason you are still sick. And I'm so glad today on this podcast I'm able to free myself from these things that I've been thinking, and hopefully you are not triggered by this podcast. You can use this as a starting point to get empowered to do something, to be well with yourself, to stop making excuses, to motivate you to take actions, to dig deeper, to identify the root causes, to actually work with someone that can help you. Now, again, if you are curious and you really truly wanna know what could be causing many of your symptoms, you are tired of collecting supplements and medications and treatments from AI and resources and tools, you wanna put all that into practice. First you wanna understand what you are addressing or what your doctor may be addressing. I want you to register for the Connect The Dots masterclass. Give me an hour and I'm gonna tell you why so many people still stay sick. Below this episode you're gonna see the next upcoming event, and I want you to register, tell someone, and I can't wait to speak to you, and I can't wait to help you troubleshooting or targeting many of these things so you can get some answers. All right? So see you on the next podcast. That is fantastic. You completed another episode. So thank you for spending this time with me. If today's conversation gave you a new perspective, I hope you carry it with you into the rest of your week. If someone you love needs to hear this today, share this episode with them. Until next time, take good care of yourself. I'll meet you back here for our next conversation.